therapy SUCKS

this is gonna be short . tomorrow i have my first out patient therapy appointment imma be going there 5 days a week from 9 am to 3 pm.. the end of 2018 and beginning of 2019 has been hell i honestly dont wanna do this shit anymore . i dont wanna live and i know that aint healthy mom found out abt me cutting again and this is why im going . im back in a very very bad place in life. cant sleep or i sleep to much. wanna cut 24/7 to numb the pain. and the worst part is is i know i can do it. just have to pick that blade up put it to you’re skin and ….. slice. but i know i shouldn’t, its just alot and im really really fucking nervous about it i dont know how to talk about my issues and myself . it s just confusing. ill update after i go there and come home. wish me luck

see ya fucker – lexxx

you don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own

well i don’t really know how this whole blog thing works and i don’t even really know if anyone will read this but… im sick of keeping all my thoughts in my head might as well type it out and try to help anyone i can. so . let me start my name is lexi im 16 and have a pretty shitty life but tbh what 16 yr old girl in this day n age don’t? i mean mine might be a little extra shitty because of some fuck shit i been threw but that’s a different story well .. stories for a different time, this is just me explaining who i am and what im doing and why , so yea im a depressed 16 yr old girl with a shitty home-life shitty friends and shitty past relationships. i know “you’re 16 you don’t know what love is’ but i was forced to grow up at a young ass age so ya i might be 16 but mentally im fucking 25, which sucks ive felt pain no 16 yr old should feel or anyone at that matter. im so mentally fucked at this point its probably not ok … well i know its not okay before this point for some reason i always thought that i didn’t have mental issues its just what teenagers go threw but its not because what ive been threw is not what most have been threw so yea , im mentally FUCKED and shit just keeps getting worse. oh ya and im a total fucking stoner should probably add that on because a lot of my story’s will involve party’s and getting fucking baked. so if you’re a 40 yr old mom reading this . don’t lmao just don’t. don’t wanna hear about how i shouldn’t be doing what im doing or that i fucking curse to much. well im fucking sorry ill be damn sure to watch my fucking language …mam anyway … welcome to my fucking life . and this is just the beginning