this is gonna be short . tomorrow i have my first out patient therapy appointment imma be going there 5 days a week from 9 am to 3 pm.. the end of 2018 and beginning of 2019 has been hell i honestly dont wanna do this shit anymore . i dont wanna live and i know that aint healthy mom found out abt me cutting again and this is why im going . im back in a very very bad place in life. cant sleep or i sleep to much. wanna cut 24/7 to numb the pain. and the worst part is is i know i can do it. just have to pick that blade up put it to you’re skin and ….. slice. but i know i shouldn’t, its just alot and im really really fucking nervous about it i dont know how to talk about my issues and myself . it s just confusing. ill update after i go there and come home. wish me luck

see ya fucker – lexxx